Odiereblog

I woke up one morning to screaming coming from my neighbors house, I was curious to know what was going on and went to spy on them. I found the husband and wife arguing seriously then suddenly the husband took out his belt, and started flogging his wife, she immediately ran away.  I was the only one who was secretly watching before some other neighbors had managed to come out of their house. The next day, I saw the lady who had been arguing with her husband with some police men and her mother.  Yet again another drama surfaced in the yard, the lady and her husband argued again and then she got slapped by him. The slap angered me, he was behaving like he didn't love his wife. No matter how bad the situation is a man should not raise his hand on a woman.  Later that evening the man was bailed out by his mother and normally since I was close to his mom I decided to visit them. His mom was just spouting rubbish, I understand since she's talking with her son but ho...

There’s a lady who lives in my yard that most of the men disliked. According to them, she was a " hard-headed woman" who " didn't know how to please a man " and " would end up alone."   But recently she gave birth. And my neighbor was gist-ing me about her. But there was one thing he said that made me look at him eerily.   He said: " She is a feminist but gave birth to a boy, since she hates men then why didn't she give birth to a girl?" Before now, I didn't understand why he disliked her. Until now – Because she is a feminist. And to him, a feminist is someone who hates the slightest glimpse of men. I’ve heard this many times before. I’ve been called a " man hater " by uneducated people just because I knew my rights. Yes, I am a feminist too. And that’s why I’m writing this — to clear the confusion. If you’ve ever wanted to be a feminist but you’re scared people will see you as a bitter woman, don’t be scared. ...

While growing up, many times when I was learning how to cook, if the food had less salt or more water than usual, my mother would say, " You're a girl oh and your not learning" It was a simple statement, but it carried an ugly meaning. I would ask myself, “If I were a boy, would the statement be the same? I'm a girl, so what?” I grew up in a home where the women will come back from work, clean and cook, while the men will come back, watch TV, press their phone and wait for the women to serve food. What about mothers who have only sons? Does that mean she does all the work alone? What about married women with time-consuming jobs? Does that mean their husbands leave all the housework for them? what about pregnant wives does that mean their husbands during that crucial period they still have to take care of the house? For years, cooking, cleaning, and washing were labeled as " women's work " in many Nigerian homes. But the world has changed.  If...

I parked into a new neighborhood recently and heard shouting from the house next door. A couple was arguing. Two weeks later, I watched the wife pack her things and the kids and move out.  As time went on, I discovered she had left him with almost nothing. Every property in the house belonged to her — the family car, their TV, couch, cooking gas, table and chairs, even the beds. The only thing standing was the apartment lease which was yet to expire. The reason for their argument? The wife's father had recently passed away. His property was shared among his children. He gave her and her sister 50 million Naira each as inheritance.  The husband proposed she give him the money "as he was the man of the house." She refused. She wanted to use it to establish herself — buy properties and start a business.  The story was quite hilarious when I heard it. But underneath the humor was something ugly. The man wanted control. I’m sure he had been jealous of her from the ...

 Last Saturday, I attended a wedding with my mom. It was her friend's daughter who was getting married, and the occasion was going smoothly until the bride and groom went to the registry to sign their marriage certificate. The bride refused to give up her father's name, to the point that the wedding was almost called off. It wasn’t until her mother and siblings convinced her not to overthink the matter that she finally agreed to sign using her husband's name. There was a time when a woman transitioned almost seamlessly from her parents’ home straight to her husband’s, usually in her early twenties. In that era, changing your last name felt like a natural rite of passage—a symbolic passing of the baton from one household to the next. But look around today, and the timeline of womanhood looks entirely different. Women are marrying much later in life. We are taking our time, chasing our ambitions, and building our own foundations first. By the time a modern woman s...

Ten years ago, I visited a friend's home. Her family had about nine girls, each older than the next by just a year. The family was not well-to-do, and I began to question their decision to have so many children in this challenging Nigerian economy. It was not until last year, when they were finally blessed with a male child, that I understood everything. Gender dictation is one of the many problems some couples face, and this is because childbirth is ultimately a genetic lottery. The Genetic Lottery Childbirth is a genetic lottery where females carry two X chromosomes (XX) . Therefore, every egg a woman produces carries only an X chromosome. The deciding factor, however, lies with the male, who carries both an X and a Y chromosome (XY) . A man's sperm is the only variable in determining biological sex; it either carries an X ( resulting in a girl ) or a Y ( resulting in a boy ). Biologically, a woman is a passive participant in gender determination. If a couple has ...

Content Warning: This section contains discussions of sexual assault and trauma. My neighbor has been married for 10 years, and they recently got a divorce. The reason given was that his wife cheated on him. At first, I felt deep sympathy for the man, knowing how heartbroken and betrayed he must feel. That was until I heard the other side of the story from his wife. She had been neglected and cheated on by him many times throughout their marriage, and finally, she decided to cheat back. It’s ironic how some people believe she should have remained faithful and prayed for her husband to change, while others believe she did the right thing because her husband had a toxic habit. Harsh judgment is almost always passed on a woman when she cheats or has a high " body count ," but rarely on a man. When a woman chooses to cheat back, she is intentionally reclaiming her sexuality, taking it out of his exclusive possession and putting it back on the market. For the husband, ...