While growing up, many times when I was learning how to cook, if the food had less salt or more water than usual, my mother would say, "You're a girl oh and your not learning"
It was a simple statement, but it carried an ugly meaning. I would ask myself, “If I were a boy, would the statement be the same? I'm a girl, so what?”
I grew up in a home where the women will come back from work, clean and cook, while the men will come back, watch TV, press their phone and wait for the women to serve food.
What about mothers who have only sons? Does that mean she does all the work alone? What about married women with time-consuming jobs? Does that mean their husbands leave all the housework for them? what about pregnant wives does that mean their husbands during that crucial period they still have to take care of the house?
For years, cooking, cleaning, and washing were labeled as "women's work" in many Nigerian homes. But the world has changed.
If we want to raise responsible, independent, and respectful men, then we must start teaching our boy children domestic work early.
1. Independence and Self-Reliance
A boy who knows how to cook and clean will never depend on anyone to survive.
Think about NYSC, university, or moving abroad. Many young men suffer because they can't boil rice or wash their own clothes. They depend on roommates, buka food, or laundry services that drain their money.
A boy who learns these skills early becomes confident. He won’t be stranded when he’s alone. Life becomes easier when you can take care of yourself.
2. Respect for Women
Boys who grow up seeing their mothers do everything alone often take women for granted. They think "cooking is her job".
But a boy who sweeps, cooks, and cleans understands the work involved. He knows how long it takes to prepare a meal, how tiring it is to mop the house.
He grows up to become a husband who helps his wife instead of giving her all the burden. He becomes a father who teaches his own children that housework is for everyone.
3. Better Health and Nutrition
Men who can cook eat better. They won’t depend on junks, noodles, and street food every day.
In Nigeria today, many young men are battling high blood pressure and diabetes partly because of poor eating habits. Teaching your son to cook means you’re teaching him how to take care of his health for life.
He can make healthy soups, balance his diet, and even meal prep for the week. That’s power.
4. It Prepares Him for Marriage
Let’s be honest. Divorce and quarrels in many homes start from "you don’t help me".
A woman who works 8-6 and still comes home to cook, clean, and take care of children will eventually break down.
A man who was taught domestic work as a child will be a supportive partner. Marriage becomes teamwork, not slavery for the wife. Women are not looking for a king on a throne. They are looking for a partner.
5. Breaks Harmful Gender Stereotypes
Cooking and cleaning are life skills, not gender roles. When we keep saying "this is for girls", we limit our boys. We tell them there are things they are too "big" to do.
But in 2026, men are chefs, housekeepers, and caregivers. When we teach boys these skills, we raise a generation that judges people by character, not by "what a man should do". We raise emotionally intelligent men.
6. Increases Job Opportunities
Catering, chef work, housekeeping, hospitality - these are billion-naira industries. A boy who learns cooking early can turn it into a career. He can become a chef, start a food business, or work in hotels.
During ASUU strike or job hunting, these skills can put food on the table. Don't limit your son by telling him to "study hard and make money". Teach him skills too.
7. It Builds Responsibility and Discipline
Domestic work teaches discipline, time management, and care. A child who makes his bed and washes his plate learns to take responsibility for himself and others.
He learns that actions have consequences. If he doesn’t wash his plate, he will eat with a dirty one. If he doesn’t clean, he will live in dirt. These are lessons school can’t teach.
8. It Helps Mothers Who Have Only Sons
This is the part many people forget. Some women give birth to only boys. If we don’t teach those boys domestic work, who will help their mother?
Should a 50-year-old woman wash, cook, and clean for 3 grown sons every day? That’s unfair. Teaching boys early reduces the burden on mothers and makes the home peaceful.
9. It Creates Empathy
When a boy cooks, he understands why his mother is tired. When a boy cleans, he understands why his sister is stressed.
This builds empathy. And empathy makes better human beings. Nigeria needs more men with empathy.
HOW TO START TEACHING YOUR BOY CHILD
Don’t wait until he’s 18. Start small and age-appropriate:
- Age 5-7: Make bed, arrange shoes, wipe table, fetch water
- Age 8-12: Sweep, wash plates, take out trash, make simple meals like tea + eggs + noodles
- Age 13+: Cook full meals, do laundry, clean bathroom, budget for food items
3 Important Rules:
1. Start small: Don’t give him everything at once
2. Praise him: "You cooked well today" goes a long way
3. Don’t say "this is for girls": That statement kills confidence
WHAT PEOPLE WILL SAY
Some people will argue: "It will make him less of a man". No. A real man is not defined by what he can’t do. A real man can provide, protect, cook, and clean.
Others will say "his wife will do it". What if he doesn’t marry early? What if his wife travels for business or something important? What if he’s single? Life happens.
Raising a boy child without domestic skills is setting him up to struggle in life. We are not raising boys to just "be men". We are raising them to be husbands, fathers, roommates, and independent adults. Let’s break the cycle.
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